I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just put wine in my tea
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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