he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
The struggles of a small town man whore
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Randomize
