Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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