That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize