Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
