my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
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I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
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I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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