Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
How external is "for external use only"?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
