I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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