I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
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