I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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