Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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