i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize