he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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