Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
