She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
