How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
