I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
