the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
