He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
