my mouth tastes like poor choices
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
