what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
