Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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