Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Randomize
