do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
