he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
