this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
