This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
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