Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
