Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
