he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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