Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
