A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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