I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
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