He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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