hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Randomize
