A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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