I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
