Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at templeĀ
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.Ā
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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