I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
