we're blogging at a bar
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
