hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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