Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Randomize