i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
