Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
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