So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
