What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
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