RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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