dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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