Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
