Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
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