I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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