BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Just invented taco cereal.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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