i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fill condoms, not promises.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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