I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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