you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
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He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
God, I missed his penis.
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