woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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