Pappa wants mamma naked
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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