Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Boobs are out for the taking
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
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