I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
