The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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