I should be sponsored by Trojan
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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